Lady Pamela's Tea Parlor

Monday, June 15, 2009

It was the Week That Was!

It was the week that was!

It was the week that was! Busy beyond the number of hours in a day to complete anything. Each member of the family seemed to be in angst about something that was earth shattering (at least to them) and I heard all about it, detail after agonizing detail. It is now a blur in my foggy brain. The number of commitments and extra demands on my time overflowed from my day timer into my dreams at night. You know the kind where everything is out of control.

plan for today was a long to-do–list that would give me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I would be a whirling dervish of activity. That was my intent.

My son paused before going to work to 'chat' and catch us up on The Wedding that he is an usher for on Saturday. He is the kind of guy you go to when you want something done. The groom knew who to ask and so his already full schedule was at panic speed. It has actually been a great learning experience; being part of the team, pitching in to help someone else’s special day be special, honouring a friendship.

Now it was time to fast forward my day and start on the to-do-list. Then….

My son on the coast called twice to chat. First to say, “Good morning Gorgeous”. ( That is his nickname for me when he is in a good place). He was up early preparing for his last exam of the term and called as he was going through the drive-thru to get his morning coffee. “Just checking in” on what’s been happening back home.

A couple of hours later he called to tell me his final mark on his term. 96%! He talked of the many opportunities that will open up for him. I am so proud of him. It’s not the high mark but the perseverance that he has shown over the last few years when whatever he tried did not satisfy his sense of self. Yet he chose to fail forward, learning something new every step of the way, character building.

Now it is time to make up for lost time and get to that to-do-list. Then….

My daughter wanted to process through a work relationship. She settled herself on my bed for 30 minutes or more and gave me a scene by scene reenactment of her discussion with a co-worker. Realizing that respect must be given first to someone in order to receive it yourself.

Now it is past noon and I can get dressed and brush my teeth...

It has been one of those precious days when being a mom has reminded me that relationships’ with my family are always more important than the mechanics of the day. Talking through the tense and uncertain events of my children’s lives helps them discover their priorities, their potential and empowers them to make sound decisions that impact them and the world around them.

Not one thing on my to-do list has been checked off and it is after 2 pm and I can accept that. I was being who God wanted me to be. I can be a doer this afternoon now that calm reigns in our world, for the moment. I think hugs and an open heart to show my love and support to my family will always be number one on my list. I think I will start writing it down so I can check it off with a sense of accomplishment.

PS: In reference to my last blog: “I am a Dagwood” (sandwich) I felt like a
“Spicy Pulled Pork” (sandwich) this week.

PPS: I will be introducing a new segment called “Sneak a Peak” in the next few days.
I will include pictures of my Valentine’s Tree and Easter Tree as promised and other tips.
I hope to share my favorite tidbits on decorating and repurposing loved and found objects in the days to come.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

I'm a Dagwood

It has been awhile since I last put finger to keyboard. This pause has been much longer than I had anticipated. Life has been busy and hasn’t left me with any time to write. But, words have been busily buzzing around my head and now its time to put them where they belong and once again I will try to blog my thoughts on a more consistent basis.

I am a Dagwood. That is, I belong to the sandwich generation. Not a simple ham and cheese but a Dagwood. Let me explain to those of you who don’t understand my analogy. If you grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, a Dagwood sandwich was three or four slices of bread and anything else you could find in the frig or cupboard to put between them.

My Dad loved lunch on Saturday when my Mom would lay out the varied selection of breads, lettuce, cold cuts, sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, pickles, cheese, peanut butter and condiments. He would build a new and different layered sandwich each time. Oh, did I mention the sardines?? How could I forget the smell?? They never went on my sandwich but that was the “piece de resistance” for my DAD.

Well, the last few months I have felt like that favorite Dagwood of my Dad’s. With the changing economy, renovations on our home, one son moving far away and another back to the nest, old loves lost and new loves to celebrate, new schools to go to and careers to build, birthdays to celebrate and visits to the senior members of the family I have had a Dagwood experience.

The sandwich generation has the responsibilities of maturing teenagers or young adults and responsibilities of aging parents as well as their own lives to manage. Most of the time I find it is a rewarding experience. I think we grow when we help others grow through their challenges. Occasionally, a smelly sardine can make the challenges a little more than what I anticipated (bargained for). At the end of the day, I do my best and find a way to balance everything and keep life in perspective.

I t’s during these times that I sequester myself to my favorite chair, a cup of tea and a good book or magazine for a few moments to refresh myself.
I have found that I need these moments even more during the busy days to keep my disposition positive. If you have a moment now, would you please join me. The busy-ness will wait for a few minutes and the people you are likely to encounter today will be glad you took the time. Sometimes, being a good hostess has to start with being good to ourselves. It’s a habit worth developing.

As I savor my cup of tea and reflect on the activities of the last few weeks, I also, savor the moments spent with those I love. I hope this will inspire you to take your favorite teacup out of the cupboard and treat yourself like a dear guest.