Its More Than Just a "Thank You"

Its More Than Just a Thank You

H ave you been to a friend’s for a cup of tea or perhaps dinner recently? When the evening was done and you said your good byes, did you say, “Thank you” ? Most probably you did, automatically. The words are spoken and accepted in mere moments. How can we express our gratitude with a longer lasting impression?

M ay I suggest an email or a quick phone call the next day. It says more because you have taken the time, our most precious gift, to say thank you, in a sincere way. But a very powerful and tangible way to communicate is through a card; purchased or hand-crafted with a hand-written note. Taking the time to put pen to paper is a fading tradition, but it says so much more. “ I enjoyed our time together”. “You always make me feel welcome”. “I love your cooking”. “Thank you for your interest in me and my family”. “ You are a special friend”.

T he note need not be long. You may want to thank your host for the time shared from a busy schedule or a special food prepared. Highlighting one thing that you appreciated is …….the message. You may be in a c o l o u r f u l mood and chose ink to reflect that, or sophisticated
and use gold or silver ink and it makes the task more f u n. Being a thoughtful guest is just as important as being a thoughtful host.

I f you are so inclined you can add a personalized touch to the envelope, simply by purchasing the collectors' stamps from the post office. They aren’t more expensive, just unique. Maybe, add a doodle or a sticker on the back of the envelope or a wax seal. I have purchased stamps with silver initials at the Dollar Store to add to my envelopes.

R emembering my motto, "K-I-S-S," keep it stylish and simple”. Of course that is your style, which is perfect.

It was the Week That Was!

It was the week that was!

It was the week that was! Busy beyond the number of hours in a day to complete anything. Each member of the family seemed to be in angst about something that was earth shattering (at least to them) and I heard all about it, detail after agonizing detail. It is now a blur in my foggy brain. The number of commitments and extra demands on my time overflowed from my day timer into my dreams at night. You know the kind where everything is out of control.

My plan for today was a long to-do–list that would give me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I would be a whirling dervish of activity. That was my intent.

My son paused before going to work to 'chat' and catch us up on The Wedding that he is an usher for on Saturday. He is the kind of guy you go to when you want something done. The groom knew who to ask and so his already full schedule was at panic speed. It has actually been a great learning experience; being part of the team, pitching in to help someone else’s special day be special, honouring a friendship.

Now it was time to fast forward my day and start on the to-do-list. Then….


My son on the coast called twice to chat. First to say, “Good morning Gorgeous”. ( That is his nickname for me when he is in a good place). He was up early preparing for his last exam of the term and called as he was going through the drive-thru to get his morning coffee. “Just checking in” on what’s been happening back home.

A couple of hours later he called to tell me his final mark on his term. 96%! He talked of the many opportunities that will open up for him. I am so proud of him. It’s not the high mark but the perseverance that he has shown over the last few years when whatever he tried did not satisfy his sense of self. Yet he chose to fail forward, learning something new every step of the way, character building.

Now it is time to make up for lost time and get to that to-do-list. Then….

My daughter wanted to process through a work relationship. She settled herself on my bed for 30 minutes or more and gave me a scene by scene reenactment of her discussion with a co-worker. Realizing that respect must be given first to someone in order to receive it yourself.


Now it is past noon and I can get dressed and brush my teeth...


It has been one of those precious days when being a mom has reminded me that relationships’ with my family are always more important than the mechanics of the day. Talking through the tense and uncertain events of my children’s lives helps them discover their priorities, their potential and empowers them to make sound decisions that impact them and the world around them.

Not one thing on my to-do list has been checked off and it is after 2 pm and I can accept that. I was being who God wanted me to be. I can be a doer this afternoon now that calm reigns in our world, for the moment. I think hugs and an open heart to show my love and support to my family will always be number one on my list. I think I will start writing it down so I can check it off with a sense of accomplishment.

PS: In reference to my last blog: “I am a Dagwood” (sandwich) I felt like a
“Spicy Pulled Pork” (sandwich) this week.

PPS: I will be introducing a new segment called “Sneak a Peak” in the next few days.
I will include pictures of my Valentine’s Tree and Easter Tree as promised and other tips.
I hope to share my favorite tidbits on decorating and repurposing loved and found objects in the days to come.

I'm a Dagwood

It has been awhile since I last put finger to keyboard. This pause has been much longer than I had anticipated. Life has been busy and hasn’t left me with any time to write. But, words have been busily buzzing around my head and now its time to put them where they belong and once again I will try to blog my thoughts on a more consistent basis.

I am a Dagwood. That is, I belong to the sandwich generation. Not a simple ham and cheese but a Dagwood. Let me explain to those of you who don’t understand my analogy. If you grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, a Dagwood sandwich was three or four slices of bread and anything else you could find in the frig or cupboard to put between them.

My Dad loved lunch on Saturday when my Mom would lay out the varied selection of breads, lettuce, cold cuts, sliced tomatoes and cucumbers, pickles, cheese, peanut butter and condiments. He would build a new and different layered sandwich each time. Oh, did I mention the sardines?? How could I forget the smell?? They never went on my sandwich but that was the “piece de resistance” for my DAD.

Well, the last few months I have felt like that favorite Dagwood of my Dad’s. With the changing economy, renovations on our home, one son moving far away and another back to the nest, old loves lost and new loves to celebrate, new schools to go to and careers to build, birthdays to celebrate and visits to the senior members of the family I have had a Dagwood experience.

The sandwich generation has the responsibilities of maturing teenagers or young adults and responsibilities of aging parents as well as their own lives to manage. Most of the time I find it is a rewarding experience. I think we grow when we help others grow through their challenges. Occasionally, a smelly sardine can make the challenges a little more than what I anticipated (bargained for). At the end of the day, I do my best and find a way to balance everything and keep life in perspective.

I t’s during these times that I sequester myself to my favorite chair, a cup of tea and a good book or magazine for a few moments to refresh myself.
I have found that I need these moments even more during the busy days to keep my disposition positive. If you have a moment now, would you please join me. The busy-ness will wait for a few minutes and the people you are likely to encounter today will be glad you took the time. Sometimes, being a good hostess has to start with being good to ourselves. It’s a habit worth developing.

As I savor my cup of tea and reflect on the activities of the last few weeks, I also, savor the moments spent with those I love. I hope this will inspire you to take your favorite teacup out of the cupboard and treat yourself like a dear guest.

Inspired by the Paper Princess

">My dear friend the Paper Princess has been sharing her pictures of her Valentine’s Tree with us. Her friend has been sharing her Valentine’s Tree, too. What can I say? I was inspired to do the same! I was late starting but that just seemed to spur me on.

A quick rummage in my stock pile of crafting supplies and a trip to the dollar store and craft centre and a generic white twiggy tree, forgotten in my basement was the start. A little ribbon, some sticky jewels, puffy hearts (foil or any craft paper hearts) and paper roses strategically placed created a simple Valentine’s Tree for my buffet. The adrenaline started pumping and before I knew it I was thrilled with my creation. Voila!!

As you will see, all three trees, you will be surprised how uniquely beautiful each one is. Hope they inspire you to create one for yourself.

I’ll enjoy it for a few more days but already my imagination is starting to create a Spring/Easter Tree. Maybe you will be inspired too!

How to start? You may find a fallen branch in your backyard that can be secured in a container you no longer have a use for with plaster of Paris. You could use the branch as is or have some fun and spray paint it any colour you want ( always in a well ventilated area). Then just have fun sorting through your craft supplies and see what your imaginations comes up with. This could be a fun activity to share with your family or a girlfriend.

What a great way to invite Mother Nature to grace us with her presence a little earlier this year!

Will You Be My Valentine?

Did you give someone dear to you a special Valentine? Were you distressed about what to give that would let them know how special they are to you? Often the sentiment can be more profound than the purchase. Along my journey I have come to realize that the most impressive gift is not the purchase but the time spent deliberating on the gift. If it touches a heart string and the soul sings with glee that someone really understands me or at least is trying has become the most cherished.

What is the one thing we all have a little of to spend and yet not cost us a penny? You probably already know the answer to the riddle. Time. But do you know how valuable that gift that you take for granted or under estimate measures up to someone else? A moment of time connecting with someone, who is feeling lonely or taken for granted can turn a glum day into a breath of fresh air.

What I find amazing is that sometimes the joy and satisfaction that one gets upon the giving of a gift is as much or more than the receiver. The lesson is old but still true. When you give of yourself, both of you are blessed. Taking the time to phone a friend or send a hand written note says I have taken my time to say I love you and I am thankful you have been part of my life. Any day is a great day to do that!!

You may ask what was the highlight of my Valentine’s Day. A simple, tastey dinner with my true love shared with a couple of dear friends. The menu was simple because I had little time or money to spend. A fresh tablecloth, candles and carnations set the romantic mood. As my guests came into the dining room they said the little extras made them feel special. That was the gift, for both of us!

This is the gift of a hostess. I once thought it was something you were born with and envied those I thought had it. Spending time with good friends made me realize that the gift is not in pomp and ceremony around a meal but the gift of self and serving. Remember K-I-S-S. Keep it simple and stylish.

Simple to me is doing something you are comfortable doing and being organized. Whether that is homemade from scratch our picking up at the local grocery store in time to serve hot to your guests. I tend to do a little of each. And the best style is just being yourself. ( That’s a true gift) Maybe choose a couple of things that you can do that your friends will enjoy. That may be candlelight, fresh cut flowers simply arranged or just a sprig of parsley on the veggies.

The more I open up to simplifying my entertaining the more I enjoy doing it. My hope is that the people I invite enjoy coming to visit and see the true value in building relationships that make better communities.

THE DOOR BELL RANG

The door bell rang. They came. They are here. My heart started to pound as I felt the colour in my cheeks fade as my hand trembled. I cautiously reached for the door handle and opened the door to find my friends, smiling, in anticipation of an evening of socializing .

Have you ever regretted inviting friends over for an evening of conversation? I used to.
Only too happy to extend the invite, but as the hour grew near I felt totally unprepared and unsure of what I had gotten myself into. I didn’t want to live my life in solitare and my husband the ultimate extrovert won’t allow it. There must be a better way!

There are many books and magazines written about entertaining. I love to read as many as I have time for. Some are wordy, others ambiguous, others quite distinct in their directions and most have great photography ( my favorite part) But I don’t resonate with all of their suggestions. I have tried many different approaches to entertaining and experience has taught me that I have a comfort level that doesn’t quite match anything I have read in print or watched on television. Yet I do receive complements from friends from time to time even though I didn’t go “by the book”. My friends don’t seem to care or maybe unaware of “the rules” .

My mother had an idea of what entertaining should be. The Queen of England might as well be coming! Every corner of the house must be clean. I never did see anyone on their hands and knees looking under my bed for dust bunnies or produce a white glove to glide over the top of the china cabinet before sitting down to a four course meal. My mom was a great woman, homemaker and cook in her own right. But, no doubt a product of the 50’s Stepford Wife model. But it had its down side. Something that I would carry into my adult life, that did not serve me well, or my friends for that matter.

As my approach to life has developed over the years, lessons that have been learnt the hard way, most of the time. I have come to appreciate that each of us is wonderfully made and unique. That simple, yet profound philosophy, has coloured how I now approach the art of entertaining.

I think the cornerstone to being a wonderful hostess is to be true to yourself. Let your own personality shine through and be content, even take pride in your one-of-a-kind style. The litmus test is at the end of the evening. How do your guests feel? How do you feel? Everyone should feel relaxed. If the hostess is stressed, her guests will feel it.

So what is a girl to do? K-I-S-S! Keep it stylish and simple. How’s that you say. I try to add a touch of my style to the things I do and to keep things simple or uncomplicated.
It’s now an adventure because I follow my instincts, my free spirit, like a butterfly who lands on the flowers she chooses. Always adding a good measure of fun. You are welcome to follow me along the way.

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!

These last few days have been c-c-cold! I know winter is suppose to be cold but the Artic air of the last week has brought rosey cheeks to even the palest faces and fingers without mitts sting like the fire you wish to be near!

As I slowly push my feet out from the bedcovers and search the floor for a cozy slipper, (hopefully two), I can think of only one thing....hot coffee! With my robe wrapped aound me like a sultan's turban I take flight to the kitchen and start that life-awakening brew. Once that has been started I think about breakfast. Cold cereal, well it leaves me feeling cold. So porridge it must be!

There have been times in my life when the instant, one minute porridge has served a purpose. But this morning I will take the extra few minutes to make if from scratch. My version has been named, "Sunday Morning Porridge".

When I was a young woman working the night shift as a nurse my Aunt Nelda would invite me over in the morning when I finished the last of my seven nights. She had just retired from a long successful career of nursing herself . We had a connection that comes from shared experiences, not needing many words. The quietness of the morning being savoured as much as the special porridge.

She always made me porridge. Her creation was ever so smooth, dotted with plump raisins and kissed with cinnamon. I was too tired to watch her method as she lovingly stirred the pot. I just enjoyed the results in those early twilight moments of the new day and her companionship.

As time went on I stopped working as a nurse and she moved into a retirement home and so the early breakfasts together ended, as both of our lives took new directions. But I will always remember those mornings, just the two of us in the newness of the day with fond memories.

After my aunt passed on, I was recounting this cherished memory to my mom and she was the one who told me the origin of the special recipe. On the farm during those cold days of the Depression, porridge was the main stay for breakfast. It was filling and it was easily accessible. You could fill the tummies of 10 childen effectively and cheaply. But on Sunday morning my grandmother would make the porridge with fresh milk from their cows, add a few raisins and a pinch of cinnamom. Slowly stirring the pot and serving it with a bit of brown sugar or molasses.

I was glad to hear the story and my mom's memory of the ingrediants. My mom wasn't as taken with porridge as my aunt and actually had never made it herself. But now I had something to start with and over the years I have created something almost as tastey as my Aunt's 'Sunday Morning Porridge'.

Most of the time I follow recipes but since this one has been created by estimating I will simply pass on the formula I use:

SUNDAY MORNING PORRIDGE

Follow the directions on the package of your favorite oatmeal, large flake or Scottish steel cut oats, same amount. Replace the water with a combination of milk (I like 2%) and water, remembering the more milk you use the more liquid you will need. I think half 2% and half water is a good place to start. Raisins and cinnamon to taste. Place ingredients in a double boiler and cook stirring occasionally, until you have desired texture and raisins are plump. I like using the double boiler because I am too impatient and often would boil the porridge over.

Top with brown sugar, or maple syrup, or your favoite topping.

A tip from Scotland: you can make your porridge in the evening and reheat in microwave or top of stove in the morning.

Now with a warm bowl of (comfort) porridge in your stomach you can put on your winter gear and brave the winds of change.